As I sit before my keyboard typing away at the keys tonight, my fingers rapidly stroke each letter key. So many words trying to escape my mind that I cannot type fast enough to catch them all. So many words to state that will not be stated at all. It is a process where my souls meets my mind, and where my heart deciphers the communication between the two. It is hard to explain, even more so to put into words. It is but a mere intuitive feeling that guides my fingers, that tells me what to say and when to say it. Some say it is my curse, I say it is my blessing for it allows me to express whom I truly am inside and what I feel, regardless the outcome.
Alas, some people say that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that it leaves me open to opinions, and interpretations from others. However to be honest, I never really cared what others labelled me, or how they judged me, or even perceived me. To worry about what others say is to not live your life, but rather to live a life which appeases others. So in turn we stop living for us, and instead start living the life others want us to live. I do not believe that defines true living. I believe that is a display of oppression that keeps you from being the unique person you are. That keeps you from expressing how you feel, out of fear you will be judged. So in turn we do not live our lives as we dreamed we would. We live our lives like a bird in cage with the door open. Scared to step out into world, scared to spread our winds, even more so scared to fly.
That is not whom I am, not whom God chose me to be. Some people have tried to understand me by analyzing me, others tried to imitate me and the way I do things. To that I chuckle and wish them well in every way. For to understand me, you must be me, and even I do not have all the answers to understand me. To imitate me would be to understand me, to duplicate me and to predict what I would do next. Even I do not know what my next move is. I on a daily basis merely flow with the messages that my heart and mind receives. With me nothing is set in stone, nothing is written down other than my blogs. Everything in my life is but a mere moment in time, a puzzle composed of memories, of feelings, or intuitive messages.
I sit back and think where my path will lead, where my journey will take me, or what God has in store for me. I do not put much mind into understanding it all. Because I know that with his guidance, the adventures before me shall be amazing, and the spiritual lessons that I will learn miraculous. For the Lord grants me the strength to live, to fight, to survive and thrive, but most importantly to love, to be love and to exist.